There is a point at the start of a painting when there is a precariousness between what the painting "is to be about" and the first touches of what is actually there. Something I'm only arriving at now is that the former, while of great interest and concern at the start, is of no account. It becomes – if we insist – an obstacle to the work's development. What if we let go of such concerns? What if instead of focusing on what it should be, or what we want, we simply allow the painting to occur? You see, painting never happens as "thoughts" translated into "actions." As much as we wish this were true. As much as all of our mythology of genius and heroes would make us insist things must happen this way, they don't. Painting happens as the hand and the brush and the eye – well, it gets so complex so soon, we might as well just say the organism and its enveloping surroundings; physical, mental, emotional – act. They simply act. There is, or might be – I suspect there always is, although it might not always be apparent – a seed of an intention. But even this cannot be said to be a "thought." It is at most an urge, a leaning, a leaning towards some sort of decision, a decisive trending that is felt and that initiates the process. By process, I mean, getting up out of the chair, or away from one's perch, or entering the studio itself with this kernel of decision inside one's self. But once initiated, the "self," the "thinker," is no more than an observer, and best left where he cannot do any interfering with what is going on. This is not some "free-spirit" "anything goes" condition. These are critical reactions, or naive interpretations, colored by the Ego's jealousy at anything that might go on without his involvement. It is a clear and nuanced affair. There is nothing un-rigorous about it. What happens next is that either the moment passes, or the intention's course is run, or we "get in the way." And, when this happens, most likely, we push on and attempt to turn what has happened into what we want. The result of this is one of painting's true wonders.
Between Wanting and Finding
Between Wanting and Finding
Between Wanting and Finding
There is a point at the start of a painting when there is a precariousness between what the painting "is to be about" and the first touches of what is actually there. Something I'm only arriving at now is that the former, while of great interest and concern at the start, is of no account. It becomes – if we insist – an obstacle to the work's development. What if we let go of such concerns? What if instead of focusing on what it should be, or what we want, we simply allow the painting to occur? You see, painting never happens as "thoughts" translated into "actions." As much as we wish this were true. As much as all of our mythology of genius and heroes would make us insist things must happen this way, they don't. Painting happens as the hand and the brush and the eye – well, it gets so complex so soon, we might as well just say the organism and its enveloping surroundings; physical, mental, emotional – act. They simply act. There is, or might be – I suspect there always is, although it might not always be apparent – a seed of an intention. But even this cannot be said to be a "thought." It is at most an urge, a leaning, a leaning towards some sort of decision, a decisive trending that is felt and that initiates the process. By process, I mean, getting up out of the chair, or away from one's perch, or entering the studio itself with this kernel of decision inside one's self. But once initiated, the "self," the "thinker," is no more than an observer, and best left where he cannot do any interfering with what is going on. This is not some "free-spirit" "anything goes" condition. These are critical reactions, or naive interpretations, colored by the Ego's jealousy at anything that might go on without his involvement. It is a clear and nuanced affair. There is nothing un-rigorous about it. What happens next is that either the moment passes, or the intention's course is run, or we "get in the way." And, when this happens, most likely, we push on and attempt to turn what has happened into what we want. The result of this is one of painting's true wonders.